Claire had decided to film everything she did, and this took more courage than she’d ever had before. She’d thought it through and decided that complete honesty was more important than her pride or her dignity.

But it was more than than. She sensed that Charles would understand, and she trusted that he had no questionable motives in demanding this of her. Claire believed he had her best interests at heart.

Still, she sat on the edge of her chair next to Charles and hesitated, then pushed the Play button on the remote and they watched the video together.

What mattered most, Claire had realized, was the purity of her intentions. She needed to clear all needless thoughts out of her mind. She also had decided to narrate her experience on camera.

The tape began. She was sitting on the edge of her bed. Staring at her hands folded in her lap, she began to speak. “Inanna, Sophia, Santa Maria, please be with me now. I ask you for your grace, your wisdom, your guidance, your strength.”

She closed her eyes. “I wish to bring your love, compassion, and understanding into the world. I am an empty vessel, big enough to hold your love. It is time.”

Reaching into the drawer in the nightstand beside the bed, she pulled out her vibrator and lay down on her bed. She closed her eyes and continued her prayer.

“For too long now your presence has been absent in this world, I invoke the power of the ocean, the power of your name. Be within me and guide me throughout my days and my nights. Let me be your emissary, your avatar, your presence on Earth.”

Claire closed her eyes, opened her robe, and held the vibrator to her clitoris. She knew that the carefully positioned camera would only capture the expressions on her face. She pleasured herself, repeatedly, for half an hour, each orgasm a little less intense. When done, she rolled over on her side and closed her eyes for a few minutes. Then, sitting up, she spoke for the camera, describing and explaining her experience.

“The first time is always more than I can bear, I feel the need to moan or scream even, yet over time I am able to relax into the waves of physical sensation a little more, a little more each time. With practice, I have become able to control my experience.”

“While yes, an orgasm is at first primarily a physical sensation, I have become able to transform or elevate it into an out of body experience. I don’t disconnect from my body, it’s more like a parallel experience, one of being pure energy. This is when I feel connected to the goddess…”

She paused and then looked directly into the camera. “I’ve found that many of my distractions, from my work and from all aspects of my life, are grounded in not caring for myself. I need to learn to bring love to myself through a spiritual connection.”

“It is only when I can fill myself up with the Source of Love that I have love to share. When I am not taking responsibility for developing my spiritual connection and learning to fill myself up with love, then I become needy.”

“When I am needy, I am restless, uncentered, and unable to focus on my work or on any one thought, feeling, or task. I then look to others to fill my needs, and they experience our relationship as draining and unproductive rather than energizing, stimulating, and mutually creative.”

“I have other ways to achieve the same ends, this is one I have found to be simple, direct, and quick enough to fit into the middle of a busy day. Now I am energized, connected, and inspired. Time to get back to work.”

Claire turned off the monitor and the video machine and turned to Charles. Blushing, she still looked directly into his eyes and said, “I trust that you understand my intentions and what I am able to accomplish in this way.”

Charles returned her gaze, and said, “Yes, I do…but you’re fired. Let me explain though.”

Stifling her emotions, Claire forced herself to remain seated. She felt so angry…and betrayed.

Charles continued. “I have something I must show you, it is at my home, and once I do, I think everything will change, forever. Something tells me you will know exactly what it means. Even simply inviting you to my home privately changes things, and I think it would be totally inappropriate for you to remain in my employment.”

“However, I’ve arranged an appointment for you somewhere where I think you will be quite happy, with my sister’s firm. I think you will not only like her but will be quite honored with the step up as vice-president.”

“But first, can we make a date when you can visit my home? It’s the paintings on the walls…murals, not framed paintings…that I think will interest you immensely. They were there when I bought the home, they are the reason I bought it…I want to surprise you, but trust me, you will be amazed, as am I…”

(to be continued)